Day 1

I named this blog Resident Mama because, well, my husband is a resident and I am a mom, but sometimes I feel like a resident in motherhood.  You know, because residents really don't know what they are doing just yet.  Scary, yes.  PS. Don't go to the hospital in July...the guy sewing your face back together has no clue what he is doing.  Maybe this is a lame title but it is the best I could do.  Don't judge.

Today is the Drs first day of residency.  He is on call every other night for one year.  This means it is going to me me and the boys alone, a lot.  This gives me anxiety on lots of different levels but I'm trying to keep my cool.  I figure, how many people have done this before and survived?  I can do it too, right?

I think mostly I have anxiety over the fact that some days I am bound to be in survival mode, except I don't want my kids to look back and remember their early childhood with a mom in survival mode all of the time.  I want them to look back and have awesome childhood memories, ones where their dad is still a strong presence, even though he is working 100+ hours a week (aren't there laws against that?!).  And then I think about how on earth I am going to meet the expectations I have set for myself and I think maybe I had better lower the bar.

So this is my weak attempt and documenting this experience in mothering.  Documenting it for me and documenting it for Colin.  So that even when he is gone for days at a time that he can still feel involved.  So when all is said and done I can look back and say it was hard but it was a good time and I still managed to live and not just survive.